Simple Matchmaker Question Guide

Consultation Details

1. First Impressions

• • How are they presenting today?
• • Do they appear relaxed, nervous, confident, warm, reserved, open or guarded?
• • What is their overall energy?
• • What stands out immediately?
• • Are there any early observations to note?

2. Their Story

• • Tell me about yourself.
• • What does your life look like today?
• • What keeps you busy?
• • Who are the important people in your life?
• • What are you most proud of?
• • What brings you the most joy?
• • What does your ideal weekend look like?
• • When do you feel most like yourself?
• • Who are you when you are completely at ease?
• • What would your closest friends tease you about?
• • What do people often misunderstand about you?
• • What part of you takes people the longest to discover?

3. Their Values

• • What matters most to you in life?
• • What are three decisions you have made that you are most proud of?
• • What do those decisions say about you?
• • What qualities do you admire most in other people?
• • What kind of behaviour do you find difficult to accept?
• • What does a good life look like to you?
• • What does “coming home” feel like to you?

4. Their Relationship Journey

• • Tell me about your most significant relationship.
• • What worked well in that relationship?
• • What did not work?
• • Why did the relationship end?
• • What did you learn about yourself?
• • What did you learn about what you need from a partner?
• • Have you noticed any repeating patterns in your relationships?
• • What type of person have you often chosen in the past?
• • Is that different from the kind of person you now believe would suit you?
• • Is there anything from a past relationship that still affects you today?
• • Is there anything unresolved that could affect a future relationship?
• • When have you felt most understood by another person?
• • When have you felt least understood?

5. Where They Are Today

• • Why does now feel like the right time for a relationship?
• • Why did you choose KLAY?
• • What has your recent dating experience been like?
• • What are you finding most frustrating about dating?
• • Are you currently dating or speaking with anyone?
• • How much time and emotional space do you have for a relationship?
• • What does being relationship-ready mean to you?
• • What are you prepared to prioritise differently when you meet someone?
• • Is there anything that could prevent you from fully participating in the process?

6. The Relationship They Want

• • What kind of relationship are you hoping to build?
• • How do you want that relationship to feel?
• • What would an ordinary weekend together look like?
• • What does commitment mean to you?
• • How much independence would you like within a relationship?
• • How affectionate would you like the relationship to be?
• • How do you imagine making decisions together?
• • What would a healthy relationship look like to you?
• • What would you like your life with a partner to look like in three to five years?
• • What would make you feel secure in a relationship?
• • What would make you feel chosen?
• • If this relationship worked out exactly as you hoped, what would be different in your life?

7. The Person Who Would Suit Them

• • Tell me about the kind of person who brings out the best in you.
• • What kind of people make you feel comfortable quickly?
• • Tell me about someone who left a positive impression on you. What was it about them?
• • What qualities matter most in a partner?
• • What personality would complement yours?
• • What values must you share?
• • What level of ambition would suit you?
• • How important are humour and playfulness?
• • How important is emotional maturity?
• • How important is independence?
• • What kind of social lifestyle would suit you?
• • What kind of communication style works best for you?
• • What do you hope a partner would appreciate most about you?
• • If someone met you three times, what would you hope they noticed about you?

8. Attraction and Chemistry

• • What do you normally notice first about someone?
• • What kind of energy are you drawn to?
• • What physical qualities do you tend to find attractive?
• • What style or presentation appeals to you?
• • Have you ever become attracted to someone you did not initially expect?
• • What helped that attraction grow?
• • What usually makes you lose interest?
• • Which attraction preferences are genuinely important?
• • Which preferences are flexible?
• • Are any preferences based on past habits rather than true compatibility?
• • What does chemistry feel like to you?

9. Communication and Emotional Connection

• • How do you communicate when something is bothering you?
• • How do you normally respond during conflict?
• • Tell me about a disagreement you handled well.
• • What helped you handle it well?
• • Do you need space during conflict or prefer to resolve things quickly?
• • What makes you feel emotionally safe?
• • What makes you feel emotionally distant?
• • How do you usually show affection?
• • How do you like to receive affection?
• • What helps you feel appreciated?
• • What makes you feel ignored or unimportant?
• • How easy is it for you to ask for what you need?
• • How do you respond when you feel rejected or uncertain?

10. Practical Compatibility

• • Preferred age range
• • Preferred location
• • Maximum travel distance
• • Open to interstate introductions?
• • Open to relocating?
• • Current relationship status
• • Children
• • Open to a partner with children?
• • Desire for future children
• • Marriage goals
• • Smoking preferences
• • Alcohol preferences
• • Religion or faith
• • Cultural considerations
• • Education
• • Career and ambition
• • Financial stability
• • Health and fitness
• • Travel
• • Pets
• • Living arrangements
• • Work schedule
• • Any other practical considerations

11. Non-Negotiables and Flexibility

• • What are your genuine non-negotiables?
• • Why does each one matter?
• • Which preferences are important but flexible?
• • Are there circumstances where you would reject an introduction immediately?
• • Have your preferences changed over time?
• • Where do you think you could be more open-minded?
• • Are any of your preferences connected to fear or previous hurt?
• • What have you previously overlooked that may now matter more?
• • What have you previously prioritised that may matter less now?

12. What They Bring to a Relationship

• • What do you believe you bring to a relationship?
• • How do you support someone you care about?
• • What would a previous partner say you did well?
• • What would they say was difficult?
• • What do your closest friends value most about you?
• • What kind of partner are you when you feel secure?
• • What kind of partner can you become when you feel insecure?
• • What are you still working on?
• • When someone loves you well, what do they usually appreciate most about you?

13. Expectations of KLAY

• • What are you hoping KLAY will help you with?
• • What would a successful KLAY experience look like?
• • How involved would you like your matchmaker to be?
• • How would you like to receive feedback?
• • How do you prefer KLAY to communicate with you?
• • How quickly can you reasonably respond to introductions?
• • Are you willing to provide honest feedback after dates?
• • Are you willing to remain open-minded?
• • Are there privacy or discretion considerations?
• • Is there anything you do not want shared without approval?
• • Is there anything else I should know?

14. Closing Questions

• • What do you wish people understood about you sooner?
• • What are you most hopeful about at this stage of your life?
• • What are you most nervous about?
• • What would make this experience feel meaningful to you?
• • If someone was going to fall in love with you, what would you hope they noticed first?
• • Is there anything I have not asked that you think I should know?